Many stories herein are subject to the faulty, and sometimes creative, memory of the blog owner and should not be taken as factual, although the names and events are real! Kind of.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

You might be a Falls Creek Cook if.....

A cook at Falls Creek Church Camp doesn't have to ride the bus with the kids. We go a day early to set up the kitchen. We aren't expected to supervise or counsel kids but we cook from dawn till past dark feeding them. We don't eat a lot at meals but taste, graze, and nibble all day long.

It's a hard job but somebodys gotta do it! The five of us that cooked this year have worked together for at least three years. Delilah's our supervisor. She's been at it the longest and has the planning and preparation down to a science. She knows we'll use eleven million eggs, 73,000 pieces of bread and 1400 boxes of Chex Mix for Puppy Chow for the evening snack. Or at least it will seem like that!

Gayleen, Lori and I are the minions who do her bidding and make (unsolicited) suggestions. Max is the water carrier. He makes lots and lots and lots of Gatorade every day. He also helps out in the dish drying department!

We do use a lot of food to feed seventy+ people for 5 days. I know for sure we use almost all of a 20 pound sack of powdered sugar. I know we fix 6 loaves of grilled cheese sandwiches. Max fills four 10 gallon coolers of Gatorade and water daily. I made 1 gallon of sausage gravy for each breakfast. Gayleen used at least 4 dozen eggs for breakfast burritos and scrambled eggs every morning. And I don't know how many pancakes and French Toast pieces Lori prepared every day.

We are a cohesive (usually) serious (sometimes) mean, lean (not) cooking machine--all without a commercial stove or dishwasher!

Have you, can you cook for a crowd? If you can, insert the name of your group in place of Falls Creek and enjoy our list!

You might be a Falls Creek Cook if...
-You know there is no such thing as too much cream cheese, sweetened condensed milk or chocolate chips.
-You can power nap through "Shake 'em Keys" by KJ52 played full blast. All afternoon.
-You can brush bugs off your bed and drop right off to sleep.
-You can take a shower in a cubicle to small to turn around in or in a dank, dark cave-like room.
-You can dish up food to the beat of Kirk Franklin's "Stomp."
-You can chop vegetables and hold your bleeding finger out of the way.
-You consume a 12 pack of Pepsi Max a day.
-You can accept a hug from a sweaty, sandy, volleyball champion teenager with a smile.
-You can disperse band-aids, anti-diarrhea medicine and the stir the gravy at the same time.
-You ask the Sysco driver about his grandchildren.
-You can persuade the preacher to come down for the day and grill the hamburgers. So you can stay in the air-conditioned kitchen.
-You can prepare baked beans for 73 and not have leftovers.
-You vow never again to cook baked beans for lunch when rain is forecast and everyone will have to stay inside.
-You hold the record number for poke cake variations using sweetened condensed milk and other mysterious but delicious ingredients.
-You have memorized the recipe for Puppy Chow for a crowd.
-You carry buckets of water to begin filling the drink coolers even before you have a cup of coffee.
-at camp, you sleep with Ben--Ben-Gay. And you love Tylenol PM.
-you have a large collection of Falls Creek T-Shirts.
-You need two pots--not two cups--of coffee to wake up.
-Any food is justified if you've also served baby carrots.
-You can persuade a fourteen year-old boy to try "Pea Casserole." And he returns for seconds!
-You save your 'big' shorts for the end of the week.

And you really know for sure that you are a Falls Creek cook if you treasure your collection of Falls Creek Cook-Off trophies along with your children' baby teeth!

And yes, once again Ladies and Gentlemen, Woodward First Baptist Church SWEPT the cooking competition by winning First place in two of five categories and placing second in one and third in another. Sadly, our dessert did not place but....there's always next year! Unfortunately, the messengers who were sent to church to learn out cooking status, did not listen fast enough to learn what places we really did win!


Keetha Broyles said...

I've never been a camp cook.

I have been:
A camper
A camp dishwasher
A camp pots 'n pans washer
A Counselor
A Head Counselor
The Speaker
Crafts Class Teacher

Church camp is THE BEST. There is something so special about it and God meets with people there in ways He can't when they're home - - - 'cause they just don't "listen" at home like they do at camp.

Mandy said...

Seriously funny stuff! I am sure that the cooks work harder than anyone at camp! Of course as a camper you never think (or thank) about where all that food comes from, you just eat it! God bless you for serving!

OKGardners said...

I enjoyed your post about Falls Creek. I never cooked, but was a camp counselor there. I was 22 years old and got SAVED during that week (1967). I remember it like it was yesterday.

I LOVE FALLS CREEK and need to see it as it is now. Much improved, I hear. BUT the spirit of the Lord has always been there in a mighty way.

Betty in Oklahoma

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