Disclaimer:

Many stories herein are subject to the faulty, and sometimes creative, memory of the blog owner and should not be taken as factual, although the names and events are real! Kind of.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Just Open The Book



Today was a day for relaxing.  A day to do nothing, be nothing and accomplish nothing. So I opened a book (or two) and flew way on the magic carpet made of paper and ink.  Words, punctuation, white space. Dotes and lines and squiggles.  All seem to be an unlikely means of traveling anywhere in space and time.  But through the power of language I traveled far. 

Today, I was the chosen one. I have the mark of God's favor on me but my family abused my innocence of its true meaning and power to use me as a political pawn. 

I was kidnapped, but soon learned that my kidnappers would become my most trusted friends. 

I fell in love twice. My first love was killed before my eyes when my enemy and captor sliced his throat . I can't forget how his blood covered my leather armor.  And I can't forget that he died protecting me and to ensure that I would one day be the ruler of the known world. 

There are few friends for a chosen one.  Betrayal can be found everywhere.  Many want to use my power. In the beginning, I don't even know what I am capable of.  It will take months and months of hardship and trials to learn what I can do. I traveled with four companions.  Two are trustworthy--my lady's maid and the captain of the Royal Guard. (He is my second love). Two are possible enemies.  But I have learned it is sometimes good to keep your enemies close. 

We escaped certain death by stealing a fishing boat to rendezvous with the brother of the captain of my guard. While sailing across the sea,  an unearthly tropical storm picked up our ship and left us on the shores of a deserted island that pulsed with the power of the ancient earth.  My companion and sometimes enemy, Storm, and I harnessed that power and brought it back to civilization with us.  It is this task that shows me he is worthy  I defeated powerful magicians and stopped the warfare between four kingdoms.

I bought a child slave out of pity and she saved my life.

We caught up with an enemy party and rescued Hector--my love, my advisor, my friend and the Captain of my Royal Guard, killing all 16 of the enemy. He was in bad shape, but I have learned enough of the power that I hold to heal his concussion, knife wounds and broken bones. 

My companions and I traveled for days to cross a mountain range before the snows began.  We were only at our destination for a few days when circumstances forced us to take again and the snows underground through abandoned mine tunnels, battling fear, exhaustion, giant scorpions, and  collapsing floors, only to discover that the exit to the caves was blocked with rock fall.  Enemies trapped me in a pit that was so deep that when I fell my leg was shattered and a broken rib punctured my lung.  Luckily, another chosen one heard my cry and used his power to heal my body.  

defeated powerful magicians and stopped the warfare between four kingdoms.  

I ordered the death of some traitors and the lifelong punishment of others. 

I was married wearing the finest silk and the crown of the realm. 

It is hard and exhausting to be queen. 

Luckily, I can close the book and go back to being ordinary me. 

It was a wonderful, exciting, relaxing, stimulating day. 

Read Rae Carson's fantasy trilogy beginning with The Girl of Fire and Thorns."  

You, too, can be queen--just open the book. 



 

Friday, July 25, 2014

Upon Spying a Tiny Pair of Sunglasses Amongst the China

Look!  Tiny spectacles amongst the china. And a candy kiss to!  Chocolate and red, two of my favorite things!  


Those tiny red glasses sent my imagination soaring--wouldn't the little Hummel wannabe boy look cuter in them?


And chicks--they dig red glasses, no?


Wonder if my mom has noticed this yet!  

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

From the Top Bunk



I'm once again at Falls Creek Church Camp cooking for hungry teenagers till my body is ready to collapse into bed at night.  We had a cooking staff change and I drew the top bunk this year. I haven't slept in a bunk bed since college and Not surprisingly, everyone's first thought is "will I fall off?"  There's other things to consider though.  


First gear up mentally and physically to hoist your body up that ladder.  1 X 4 boards don't look so thin. Remember when you were in third grade and you scampered up and down the ladder from a bunk bed?  Yeah, well, likely your body weight has changed since then and the pain can be torturous to aged feet. 


Then look at the spot on the bed that you will flop onto once you reach the top. If sadly this space has been filled  with things like your iPad, magazines and camp mail, there are two choices. Hang on by your elbows and attempt to clear a landing point or resign yourself to climbing back down to move stuff, knowing that you must go through the foot pain process again. 


Have supplies handy.  Getting a tissue or lip balm or taking that nightly bathroom break is not so easy.  Be willing to wake your lower bunk mate up if everyone has been so kind as to go to sleep with the light on. Unless of course you want to climb the ladder again.  


So really, falling out of bed while sleeping isn't that great of a concern.  Falling out of bed while trying to get down is.  



Monday, November 18, 2013

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

That moment when you come into your dark, empty (hopefully) house and you see a light in your bedroom. 

And you wonder if the murderer is hiding in there or if once again you forgot to turn off the closet light before leaving for work that morning. 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

True Wardrobe Confessions

I did it.  Today I bought something I swore I never would.

I bought....Jeggings.  I used the self-check at Walmart and furtively hid them under the sweat pants that I was also purchasing.  Kind of like back when I was embarrassed to buy feminine products.  It's role reversal.  Used to hide those under a swimsuit.  Now I'd rather not let anyone know I'm purchasing anything like a swimsuit or jeggings so I tried pretended they were for my daughter.

Pitiful, I know.

I had a good reason actually for buying such a questionable (at my age and fitness level) item.  You see, awhile back I purchased an awesome shirt at a Real Women's Store downtown.  And it wasn't on sale. AND the name of the store did not end in Mart, nor did it contain the word thrift or discount.  Seriously, I'm getting wild in my old age.

So anyways, back to this awesome shirt.  It is a little past hip length and flares at the bottom and did not look good with my usual loose fit slacks(perhaps should insert here formally loose fit, but that leads down a whole other rabbit trail that involves Nutella and fear of sweat).  Then I saw some skinny girl wearing a shirt fashioned in the same manner and it was with leggings (jeggings, whatever) and boots and I had an epiphany:  I have a long shirt!   I have boots!  And those types of pants are cheap, cheap!  And then I can feel better about the money I spent on the shirt that I have now owned for two months and never worn!  And perhaps I could look just like that skinny girl???  or not.

So, reasoning and justification led me down the slippery slope of fashion to buying jeggings.

Will I wear them?  We will have to wait and see.  I don't drink so there will be no false courage when donning this outfit.  You've seen those women with such thin legs their leggings are loose on them?  That's probably not gonna be me.

The real problem with clothes is not the clothes themselves, but the body they must cover.  Fabric is a tad thinner than it used to be, so then the clothes must be a tad looser but unfortunately fashion seems to dictate 'fitted.'

You know that story The Saggy Baggy Elephant?  I don't really recall the story line but the title seems to say it all.  I try to remind myself to check the back view before leaving the house but sometimes I'm in WalMart walking behind someone and wonder if they know they look like that and then I remember I didn't look in the mirror very well myself that morning.  Things aren't where they used to be if you know what I mean.

So on that uplifting note, let's talk swimsuits.  It's not swimsuit season but aren't they the worst things to buy?  (worse than jeggings!)  In 28 (blissful) years of marriage, I've purchased maybe five swimsuits.  The last one was for a family beach trip to San Diego where thankfully the ocean was too cold for swimming. In spite of being well traveled, that costly item of apparel has only been worn 3 times. It usually goes on vacation with us, but seldom sees the light of day.  Or the chlorine in the pool, or the salt in the ocean if you get my drift.  (Ooo! another water reference!)  It is going to rot in the dark before it gets worn out from wearing!

When trying on a swimsuit, I don't want a three way mirror around.  Or glasses.  Or an audience.  Beyond checking that everything that needs to be covered is covered, the mirror view is avoided.  I try to comfort myself with Parade and National Enquirer and all those other higher thinking pieces of newsprint at the checkout counter that show Hollywood type people frolicking around the Riviera and such places in their Speedos and bikinis and it turns out that even some of those thin ones should not be wearing so little in public.  If only the dressing rooms could be papered with a few of those?

Perhaps one day, I'll post a selfie on Facebook wearing my new outfit.  Hopefully before it's not really new anymore.  And before the elastic wears out of the pants(jeggings!) from age.


One Last Thought.......

Pleasant words are a honeycomb;
sweet to the soul and healing to the body.
Proverbs 16:
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