Many stories herein are subject to the faulty, and sometimes creative, memory of the blog owner and should not be taken as factual, although the names and events are real! Kind of.

Monday, February 08, 2010

Why I'm a Sarcastic Know-It-All

Ya'll know I'm a High School librarian, right? All day long, especially in the spring semester (somehow also known as "The season all research papers will be written"), I hear:

Mrs. Castor, where are the books on Animal Testing?
Do you have anything on 9/11 Conspiracies?
Show me something about the influence of violent video games on teenagers?  I don't believe it's true.
Do you have a bandaid?
I want to legalize marijuana--got anything on that?
Bigfoot--I need a book on Bigfoot.
Can I have a pencil?
I need stuff on Evolution.  And Creationism--I don't believe in that science class stuff.
Where's that book I had yesterday?  You know, that one book.
Prostitution--Do you have any books on that?
Why are you charging me for a pencil?
 My paper is on the effects of war.
What's wrong with pole-dancing as a career?  I don't see why she won't let me research pole-dancing.
I need paper and note cards?  And a pencil?  No one told me I needed this stuff.
Anne Hathaway--that name is so familiar--Shakespeare's wife?  I thought she was an actress.
Can you scan this paper for me and change it to double spaced and make the font smaller?
I spend the day, answering question after question, hunting for obscure facts, searching for that book I know has a chapter on 'whatever' and finding 'that purple book I used last year with a marijuana leaf on the cover.'  About that last one--I should be thrilled for the kid to remember a book they used last year.  But why is it always about drugs?  (and I have to keep them shelved in my office because they disappear--drugs and the books we use for Salem Witch Trial research....)

No one cares that I've remembered to look for the answer to the question they needed help with yesterday.  They are unimpressed that I remembered the title of that purple book among the 10,000 other books on the shelves.  When I hand over the pages copied from the day before, they just stuff them in their binder and wander off.  Their teachers and I spend a great deal of time prodding, cajoling, encouraging and, yes, threatening.

But it's my job and strangely enough, I love it.

And no, I can't scan your paper and change it to double-spaced and make the font smaller, in case you were wondering.....


Morgan Rae said...

hehe. this post made me smile. ;)

Andi said...

I don't get it...Now why are you a sarcastic know-it-all?

wannabe crafty said...

I thought the sarcasitc know it all was my teenager. :) I guess working around them all day it will eventually rub off...and yes they will remember your help and your wise suggestions when they get in the real world.
you made me smile too.

One Last Thought.......

Pleasant words are a honeycomb;
sweet to the soul and healing to the body.
Proverbs 16: