Disclaimer:

Many stories herein are subject to the faulty, and sometimes creative, memory of the blog owner and should not be taken as factual, although the names and events are real! Kind of.

Monday, December 06, 2010

Victoria's Secret Just Makes Me Mad

The other night, Molly came up behind me and gave me a hug.  Her forearm was across my chest and she said, "Where's your boobs, Mom?"  Now in all fairness and honesty, I had taken a shower and just put on a camisole with a shelf bra in it so of course there was no support to be had.  I just had to reply, "Lower."  It was kinda sad.  It's one thing to joke about it.  But the reality--not so funny.


 Why does this one particular evidence of aging bother me?  I don't mind so much the wrinkles around my eyes (yet!).  I can keep the grey hair colored (somewhat).  The aches in my knees and cut off finger only bother me in the winter.  I can correct my vision with (increasingly stronger bifocal) contacs.


But that droop?  There is no foundation garment in the world that will fix it.  Not enough spandex or latex or underarmor garments to perk up what has decided to fall.  Am I just vain about this rather private body part?  (The private part that is currently being published on the internet for all the potential world to see)


It doesn't look so bad when I hold my arms above my head.  Everything rises back up to where it once was.  But I can't go around like that.  That would look even worse than the offending droop!  Shoulders back and stomach tucked improves my posture--but the droop is still there.



Then there's the extra skin problem.  Where did the filling go?  The size hasn't changed--just the shape.


So about Victoria's Secret. Ugh--those models-- I can deal with the concave stomach, the pencil thin legs, the other aspects of perfection.  But the boob issue--It makes me mad.  In the catalog I have found a push up that will add two cup sizes (with sizes going up to DD--weird, that), one for wearing under t-shirts, barely there, biofit, dream angels, memory fits....

But I can't find the lift and fill section.


You know, I used to laugh at stories like this.  I still do.  It's just funny in a whole different way now.  As in, not really.

3 comments:

Sarah Kamolz (Castor) said...

HAHA! THAT'S HILARIOUS! LOVE YOU MOM!

DottiesDoodles said...

You are priceless Dawn. Welcome to the force of gravity club. You are the best...even at discussing that "private women's issue". ;-)

Andi said...

Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie 'em in a know, can you tie 'em in a bow? Can you throw 'em over your shoulder like a continental soldier, do your boobs hang low?

Is continental soldier the real line?

One Last Thought.......

Pleasant words are a honeycomb;
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Proverbs 16:
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