This past week was filled with cooking, laughing, praying and eating. My family and I spent a week at Falls Creek where we (hopefully) ministered to teenagers in one form or another. Les, Sarah, Jake and I cooked and Molly was a sponsor and led in Cabin worship at night. I must admit that I've been a reluctant camper. In fact, I'm a reluctant camper every single year. It's a lot of work to get ready. I know the week will be exhausting. I will eat too much and there will be at least one teenager I want to.....well, let's not talk about that, k?
But in spite of the reluctance, the exhaustion, the overeating, the tumultous teens, I continue to go because, well, I'm called. (Because if you read the previous paragraph that is so evident, right?) The first year I went was out of fear. I was afraid to stay home alone. Les wanted me to go. The girls wanted me to go. The youth pastor even indicated he would not be adverse to my attendance. And I was not only fearful, but angry, because in spite of the fact that I would be lonely for my family (ok and afraid), I was looking forward to a week of 'me' time. I could go to my parents and stay. I could sleep late, stay up late, eat when I wanted, read, sew, etc... the week would be all about me....(yes, I know I'm selfish, thank you very much). Anyways, on a Sunday night, everyone agreed that they would cram me in and I could go help cook the very next day. So I pretended to help cook that week when in reality it was therapy and a recovery time. God knew I needed to deepen some friendships with people. He knew I needed to get out of my comfortable 'me' zone. He knew I needed to be dragged, if need be, into His service.
The funny thing about serving God, is that contrary to popular belief, you are not always serving out of your deep and vast love for all things spiritual. Sometimes you're shoved in a slot cause you fit the best--you have a gift or a talent or you will do the least harm out of those available for duty. Sometimes you serve because someone expects you too. Sometimes you serve just cause it's the right thing to do, whether you want to do it or not.
But here's the deal. You will discover where your area of service lies through trial and error. Just because you are capable and have the time to do something doesn't mean you should do it. Serving where you're not called deprives someone else of a job for the Lord! Serving out of duty also builds resentment in your heart. I've discovered that while I may begin the task with a marginally willing heart and somewhat cheerful nature, somewhere along the way the willingness and cheerfulness dissipate and I work for God with resentfulness and crankiness. Not good. So obviously, I'm not working for God, but for man. And I'm certainly not capable of pleasing anyone in those circumstances.
So, anyways, back to the Falls Creek stuff--I'm afraid I've been called there. Whether I like the call, whether I initially went for the right reasons, whether I'm grateful to be called. I am.
There. I said it. I guess I'm committing myself to going again!
(Sometime I'll tell you about how I have hated the hymn "Where Ever He Leads I'll Go)
Many stories herein are subject to the faulty, and sometimes creative, memory of the blog owner and should not be taken as factual, although the names and events are real! Kind of.