How to take a shower

First make sure you have enough quarters. That's right. You are camping at a state park and if you want water to come out of the faucet, you must feed money in!

Look for bugs. Shoo them off the hooks you will be hanging your clothes on in a futile attempt to keep them dry. Don't waste your time killing them. Plenty more are ready to take their place.

Don't look at the floor too closely. Your bare feet will be there and what you don't know won't hurt you.

Try not to feel awkward by the fact that only a door with a questionable lock separates your bare body from the rest of the campground.








Plan ahead. Don't stuff the clothes you are taking off on top of the ones you are putting on. When you and everything else is wet and drippy, this becomes awkward.


Remind yourself for the 14th time that yes, in fact, you did lock the door.

Put your money in and stand back to avoid a blast of frigid water. Don't knock your towel onto the floor when you jump. Oops. Too late!










Adjust the temperature. Forget any attempt to find "comfortable.". Your choices are cold, lukewarm and scalding. Remind yourself it doesn't matter, you have a limited number of quarters anyway.

Wet yourself (seriously? With water. What were you thinking?), soap up and rinse as quickly as possible. Contemplate the odds of repeating before you run out of quarters only partially rinsed.

Remind yourself you are camping and everyone will be outside anyway.





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